It seemed like a simple enough idea at the time. We had an upcoming world tour that needed promoting. John was the guy for the job. People listened to John; hell they even called the guy The Prophet. When that’s your nickname, people typically sit up and listen.
Only problem was John wasn’t interested in promoting our band. We sent him letters, heralds. We even tried sending concubines, but the man couldn’t be swayed. We had to take drastic measures.
So imagine our surprise when this round faced, pale skinned cat with slicked back hair approaches us. Says he can plant the idea for our tour inside The Prophet’s head while he’s asleep. It sounded like a bunch of hooey, a real fish and loaves kind of thing, but like I said, we were desperate.
We had just spent the last of our (my) money on locking down transportation for the tour. Franky was getting so skinny it looked like he hadn’t eaten in two crop cycles. Jerry had started to lose focus on the band and was trying to get as many female conquests as his dick would allow. Tim and I were always butting heads, constantly warring over which direction we should take the band. I started wearing all black, which in this desert climate is about the most metal thing you can do.
It turns out this inception concept actually works. Unfortunately for us it didn’t work the way it was supposed to. The Prophet went around blasting that our message was death and destruction. We’re not about that man; we’re all about the music. Needless to say, our send off tour was a bust. No one would come to the shows out of fear. Everywhere we went was just empty towns with no food and no people. We all went our separate ways after that. But I’m hopeful. I’ve been in touch with the guys and I think it’s safe to say that we’ll be kickstarting a reunion tour really soon. So keep your ear to the ground and your fist to the sky because The Four Horsemen are coming to a town near you!